completely and utterly disappointed in myself.

i was handcuffed for the first time tonight. im such an idiot.

epiphany.

something just occurred to me within the quiet of my room. only sounds are those coming from the music flowing through my walls. why does everyone strive to be something their not. if everybody just loved themselves, wouldnt everything seem perfect? there is no point in wishing for something that could never be, and if you know that why obsess over it so much. i, myself am a victim of this. i want to be skinny, tall, eyes that people fall asleep in, but you know what, that is not me and never will be. and suddenly a burst occurred within me, a burst of acceptance. a burst of "okay" i need to not strive for something that i will just never have, but be completely okay with the person i see in the mirror. even if somedays i just want to stay in bed and cry, i still need to tell myself, i am beautiful. and in the words of christina aguilera,
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down


and to everybody feeling unhappy with themselves,
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down


lets all accept what we are, and who we are. and then we will find everything else becomes brighter. focus on the good things going on, the things that make you happy.
love life, love everyone, love yourself
<3

aahhh

its 11/11

lets hope today is a good one!<3

just one of those things

you shouldnt tell anyone, but you have to.
so intense and surreal. i thought it was a dream. close. too close. breathing heavy.
fuck man.

fuuuuck.