i knew it

i knew it from the beginning. yet i still let it happen.

and its perfect.

i just wish you knew.

sun peaking in with rays of dust particles swimming about. just so close to me. it feels so right. every heartbeat is another kiss from you.

i never want my heart to stop beating.

mindboggling

so after my little rant underneath this post, i realized it is absolutely true. and just maybe i exaggerated a bit. things either are bad, or their good, its just how things are. for everybody.

and right now it is a most wonderful happy i am feeling. why you ask?

well;

my summer school class isnt all that bad

i have 2 pretty awesome people that sit next to me. we have good laughs

Cabo?!

seeing Harry Potter with my best friend Yareli!

i get to see Maddie soon which makes my heart beat more happier with every thought of it<3

im losing weight, and sticking to eating healthy. its a lifestyle for me now

ive lost people in my life for the better. i hope there doing well with whatever their doing now.

i have the most amazing best friends<333

im just fucking happy

it is strange

that whenever something seems to be going good, it is followed by greater good. and happiness.

than when something converts to bad, it stays bad. and just keeps going downward.

but i should be used to this by now. its been happening since as far back as i can remember.

its either all good luck, or all shit.

why cant there just be a happy medium.

why cant people see what i truly mean when i say certain things.

its just bullshit. and frankly im tired of it.

beyond tired with high school.

and extremely tired of this fucking place. theres nothing here that is benefiting me.

yeah i have a couple true friends. emphasis on the word COUPLE.

the rest are just bullshitters who have nothing better to do than pretend to be someone's friend, and not even really care about anyone but themselves.

i find me asking myself why is it that every friend i come in contact with, it turns to shit.

turns to lies. fake.

is it me? thats probably it right there. its me.

theres nothing keeping me here.

im seriously considering moving with my dad in washington. its beautiful there. and peaceful.

the complete opposite from this shithole desert. and i can be around people who actually give a shit about me. my sisters and my brothers. i love you coya.

ramblerambleblahblahblahnothing.